distributor idents at the start. These should link to your opening credits
0:01 - you also need to use music. I would suggest something like "I'm into something good" (Herman's Hermits) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV1WHC4NLA0
0:02 - you really need to start with some sort of establishing shot (for example, the car outside the house, Catherine pulling up, something...
1:30 - I would start with Ellie full-frame, then cut to the split-screen when the phone rings
1:50 - You really need some sort of shot where Ellie enters the house - jump is a little odd...
It's actually very good until you get to the bit where Ellie comes in. You really could do with extending this sequence with more dialogue, using shot/ reverse shot and a range of angles (CU etc.) in order to establish the story. I would suggest that you shoot an additional 30s of footage really going to town with the angles.
At the moment, this is at the cusp of L2/3, but this is without music and titles (which you need to include). If you add these well, and include a better end sequence, you should do a lot better.
0:00 - You will need to include studio and
ReplyDeletedistributor idents at the start. These should link to your opening credits
0:01 - you also need to use music. I would suggest something like "I'm into something good" (Herman's Hermits) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV1WHC4NLA0
0:02 - you really need to start with some sort of establishing shot (for example, the car outside the house, Catherine pulling up, something...
1:30 - I would start with Ellie full-frame, then cut to the split-screen when the phone rings
1:50 - You really need some sort of shot where Ellie enters the house - jump is a little odd...
It's actually very good until you get to the bit where Ellie comes in. You really could do with extending this sequence with more dialogue, using shot/ reverse shot and a range of angles (CU etc.) in order to establish the story. I would suggest that you shoot an additional 30s of footage really going to town with the angles.
At the moment, this is at the cusp of L2/3, but this is without music and titles (which you need to include). If you add these well, and include a better end sequence, you should do a lot better.